i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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