I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i out mim tonsoeep
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