what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
