hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
