Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
