That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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