Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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