she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
