So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
