You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
