My underwear smells like fireworks.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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