Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
