we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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