she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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