I wish my penis had an off switch
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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