I just saw a hot homeless man
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
