i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
