Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
