some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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