PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
