Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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