just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
