I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
