Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm at about main and main street
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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