i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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