My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
