It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
