I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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