But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I am naked and annoyed.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
