Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
