Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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