I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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