He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if i can run in heels then i can drive
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
