Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize