we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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