Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize