her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
