can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
