Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
