when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
