Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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