i just had sex bonerless
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
