glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
