They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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