Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
