Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
