Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize