she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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