I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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