Your face is a jimmy john
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
