hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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