I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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