She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
