that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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