The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
