first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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