my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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