I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
