we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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