I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
